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On Showing Up for your Asian Friend
If your AAPI (Asian American Pacific Islander) friend calls the Atlanta shooting a hate crime or the shooter a terrorist, accept this. If you are capable, be present and absorb this. If you chafe at their choice of words, focus instead on the authenticity of their pain.
Whatever urge you feel to engage your AAPI friend in a political debate at this time, cool it. Now is not the time to bust out your Webster’s dictionary or lean into your contrarian disposition. This is the time to witness and comfort a friend who is suffering.
If you find yourself more interested in exploring the motives of the shooter than the humanity of the victims, take that conversation elsewhere. Initiate those conversations with your non-AAPI friends, preferably NOT in the comments section of social media posts intended to show support for the AAPI community.
Asians are feeling vulnerable, even invisible, in the wake of the Atlanta tragedy. If your instinct is to respond to #StopAsianHate with #StopAllHate, take a moment to consider who that response serves. For many of us, calling attention to our trauma carries a tremendous emotional weight. Consider whether or not your response shoulders any of that weight or contributes to it.
If you have your own trauma to unpack, do not hesitate to seek out support for that weight. Just be…
